EagleBank Bowl

Robert Guliano on why UCLA will win: UCLA needed a late season loss by Army (you know, the powerhouse of the early 20th century) just to get into this appalling affair. The Bruins take their .333 conference winning percentage into RFK Stadium (a venue that is accustomed to shitty football). Luckily for UCLA, they are playing a Temple team that has lived in football infamy for years. Look for UCLA to squeak out a win in a game they were likely praying not to go to.

UCLA Players to Watch:
3. QB Kevin Craft- Splitting time with Kevin Prince this season, Craft has been run of the mill in losses and run of the mill in wins.
2. QB Kevin Prince- Prince is the only thing more average than Kevin Craft.
1. Oprah- Oprah starts at four, the EagleBank Bowl starts at 4:30. The EagleBank bowl features star Bruin kicker Kai Forbath. Oprah features Dr. Oz. The EagleBank Bowl gives out a trophy. Oprah gives out cars. It’s your call.

Brandon Hickey on why Temple will win: A program notorious for getting kicked out of the Big East during the Great Conference Reshuffling of 2004, Temple has found its way to football relevancy under the tutelage of Coach Al Golden. This Golden Era (I love it) for Temple football has been helped by true freshman running back Bernard Pierce. Pierce rushed for 1,300 yards and 15 touchdowns this year as the only notable player on the Owls team. Oddly enough, there is no temple at Temple University. Nor is it a Jewish University. Riddle me that.

3. RB Bernard Pierce-See above, literally the only notable player on the team.
2. Mr. Owl-Mr. Owl is a cheater. You’re supposed to lick the tootsie pop, not bite into it. Why he bit into it, the world may never know.
1. Bill Cosby-Cosby was a fullback on the 1962 Temple football team. He also may be crazy (cue Bill Cosby crazy talk).