Insight Bowl: Disclaimer: If for some reason you have the opportunity to watch this, please refrain.

Insight Bowl

Robert Guliano on Why Minnesota will win: Because they are the lesser of two worthlesses. Both teams are 6-6 (worst record possible to get in Bowl game with) and both teams had not very impressive upset wins over not very impressive conference teams (Nebraska and Northwestern). At the apex of worthlessness the game airs on the NFL Network, a channel that several cable providers do not offer in their basic package. The good news for cable providers is that they likely won’t hear any complaints from people miffed about missing this year’s Insight Bowl.

Minnesota Players NOT TO WATCH (since it is not on NFL Network and your local sports bar would rather play World Series of Poker reruns):

3. WR Erik Decker- Oh wait, he’s injured. So, the three people watching the game won’t be watching him.

2. Purdue- The Boilermakers finished ahead of the Gophers in the conference and didn’t make a bowl game. That is a testament to the quality of this contest.

1. Tim Brewster- Minnesota’s coach got a contract extension for his efforts this year. Baby steps.

Brandon Hickey on why Iowa State will win: Somehow, Iowa State is in a bowl game. Iowa State hasn’t been relevant in any sport since 2000 when they went to the Elite Eight behind Marcus Fizer and Jamaal Tinsley, who enjoys being in gunfights. Anyway this Cyclone team is 6-6 and barely made this bowl game, which is about right. Their best and really only win came at Nebraska, and nobody knows how that happened. They play Minnesota, who is also sitting at 6-6 and only have one good win (at Northwestern). It’s a good thing this game is on the NFL Network, because nobody will want to watch it.

Cyclone players to watch:

3. Nobody. There aren’t three good players from Iowa State.

2. Or any interesting things in Iowa.

1. Ames, Iowa to be exact.

THE COMPROMISE: No one cares.